Game of Thrones – The Choatic

Posted: 24/03/2012 in Uncategorized
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This will be the third and final post on the alignments of Game of Thrones characters.  This time, we’re doing the chaotic.  Let’s get going, shall we?

"Precious moments doll?" Call me that again... one more time!!"

Arya Stark is a bit more complicated than her tom-boy introduction shows.  Don’t forget, she’s a noble’s daughter and she knows it, which is why it is unexpected that she would cheerfully play stick fighting with a butcher’s son.  Furthermore, she heroically (and violently) defends said butcher boy against the fucking prince without so much of thought.  She does not understand court decorum and throws a hair pulling fit when she sees her sister lie about the whole affair.  Neither does she understand women’s role in her society and certainly doesn’t understand her older sister’s betrothal to that filthy bastard Joffrey.

Where do we last see Arya?  Well, she’s running off in disguise with nothing but a sword.  She’s among vagabonds, miscreants, and thieves.  Also, her last memory of her father was a forced confession and beheading -right as the living symbol of law or order watched with smug approval.  If all this isn’t a recipe for Chaotic Good, I don’t know what is.

Who stole my tarts?

People mistakenly refer to this character as Joffrey Lannister.  But, his legal father was King Robert Baratheon.  So this prince’s legal name is Joffrey the Incest-spawned-Bastard.  We all love the time that Joffrey the ISB got bitched slapped by Tyrion, but don’t forget why.  Joffrey, unlike his mother, lacks political shrewdness and does not care for court decorum.  Sympathetic (even faked) face time before the Starks would’ve earned him political capital.  He is abject bully, which is demonstrated by his delight in tormenting a random butcher’s son for no reason on King’s Road.  When Joffrey the ISB becomes king he rules with capriciousness and unrestrained cruelty.  It even surprises his mother.  A good king knows when to withhold his strength and when to kill your enemies.  Well, Joffrey, after you’ve made a promise is not the time to kill your enemies.  You also do not kill them if they’re your bargaining chip.  This is why killing Eddard Stark was both openly evil, but also nakedly chaotic.  This little bitch is unhinged, and is probably going to go down like Caligula.  What was that our Lawful Evil character, Tywin, called the result of Joffrey’s execution order?  That’s right: madness and stupidity.

Dare I say it? A tougher beard than Church Norris.

Many people would name Kahl Drogo, the barbaric hero of female-orientated literary porn, as true neutral.  I’ve decided chaotic neutral for a few reasons.

First, Kahl Drogo could care less about keeping promises.  I’ve only watched the series, but it didn’t seem like he was ever going to keep his deal with Viserys, and is quite happy to shaft him.  Also, the guy is pretty unpredictable.  When it came to his future, it only took him two episodes to go from “a king [his future son] needs no chair but a saddle” to hyperbolic, declaration of how he will invade the seven kingdoms, tear down their castles, eat their babies, and skull-fuck their old men.  Whatever this guy does, he does it 110%, but we’re never going to be sure what he’ll do.  Kahl Drogo takes slaves. He burns cities for personal fitness, and then he eats Sunday brunch.  Clearly, he’s not good aligned.  But he also lacks the callous self-serving streak that mark Queen Cersei and Lord Baelish.

Secondly, there’s a lot to be said about Dothraki.  Basically, calling them a dark-age band of warriors is actually a generous term.  The Dothraki operate like a force of nature, or a pack of carnivorous animals following the strongest alpha.   They have a system of authoritative traditions, but “Dothraki Lawyer” is like saying “effeminate football star.”  Whoever holds power in the Dothraki world does so as long as no-one else kicks their ass in a fight.  They might accept tribute from a city, or burn it to the ground.  There is no judicial system or formalized rite of succession.  The entire society strikes me as chaotic neutral and that’s why Kahl Drogo is here.

This is the last in the thread and I hope everyone enjoyed reading it as much as I liked writing it.  If any of you out there are more familiar with books.  To comment here.  Here’s the characters I never put here for their alignments. King Robert, Queen Cersei, Jaime Lannister, Lord Varys, Viserys Targaryen,Sir Jorem Mormont etc.

Feel free to add in the comments.

The next blog, will be back to politics and end-times.  Thanks for reading, and if you like it, than re-post it.

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