>Secular Songs that Sound like Christian Rock

Posted: 01/02/2011 in bt, guns and roses, music, satire, skillet

>It has been quite some time since I’ve blogged. I guess I’ll never get rich by doing this, but oh well.

For today, I have something silly in mind. Actually, it has been on my mind for quite some time. This is a list of secular songs that -for some reason- sound like Christian Rock. YouTube clips will be aid you in this matter.

For the sake of brevity, I am excluded every song ever written by U2.

Here’s the first: Sweet Child of Mine, by Guns and Roses:

It was my friend Jeff who first mentioned how much this sounds like Christian rock. It must be something about the glaring Les Paul guitar tone, the formulaic intro, and the fact that it is really easy to sing along too.

In fact, haven’t some Christian Rockers changed the lyrics to “sweet God of mine”? Am I just imagining that?

Take a few minutes to let your ears recover from that guitar tone. We move onto something else next:

I like muse a lot. But seriously, this is just to fucking easy. It’s all in the title. The only thing that screams “Christian Rock” more than “Guiding Light” is “Mighty Tower” or “strong deliverance.” Its so glaringly loud I wonder if MUSE used the phrase intentionally.

Please don’t do that again, MUSE.

Moving on then:

The majority of this song does not sound like Christian Rock, but listen to the piano chord progression at the end. I defy you to look me in the eye and tell me it doesn’t make you think of Spirit filled revelers dancing in a four square church. Don’t you expect to here chords like that just as the pastor is firing up the high the sermon? Hallelujah! Get Saved’ah!!

Now, it wouldn’t be complete without electronica right?

BT is one of my favorite artists, so it hurts to compare this to Christian Rock. In fact, this sounds like a specific Christian Rock: Skillet.

A quick word about Skillet: I liked their second album. Their third was decent. They’ve had their suck-knobs cranked to 10 ever since.

So I will say this: BT’s “Forget Me” sounds like an extremely good song from the second Skillet album, inwhich their most talented musician was still a band member, and before they started cycling musicians faster than Bruce Wilkinson books, and dressing stupidly.

BT, there is actually a chance I might meet you someday, so please take this comparison in the most glowing way possible.

  1. >Skillet is a band that is either really really good or really, fantastically terrible-sometimes both in the same song. "Invincible" and "Alien Youth" were probably their musical high point, as measured in good-to-crap ratio. (Anything from Collide onwards belongs to their current "We're Linkin Park, but for JESUS!" stage, which is uniformly dreck.)Oh yeah, and somehow, they're the only Christian rock band whose worship album is probably, on average, BETTER than the rest of their opus."Angels Fall Down" (especially the live version) and "The Thirst Is Taking Over" were pretty good songs, although kinda shrugworthy lyrically the music was fantastic.Anyway, BT sounds just like you described and I'm going to go pirate their discography now. Thanks for the tip!

  2. Draw2much says:

    >Does it sound bad when I say most Christian musicians are mediocre at best and sometimes even OK? What we have now is still significantly better than what we had in the 90s though.I don't have a problem with Christian rock bands. But if they're going to exist, they need to be better than their secular counter parts. Otherwise they're just some cheesy religious knock off that no one takes seriously. (Such as now.) And I don't think that's the type of message any entity with Christian as part of their title should be giving to the world. 😦

  3. Jin-roh says:

    >Draw2Much, thank you for posting. Also for drawing to much. I draw to little.One of the most insightful podcasts on Christian Rock I've ever heard is from the Beretta Cast. The podcast is called "Stop being a Christian and start being a person."Stuart, Skillet's lyrics are rather … yeah. I never owned a copy of Alien Youth, but I remember being unimpressed with their performance when I saw them live and touring for that album.

  4. >Oh yeah, and while we're on the topic… I've got to mention Princeps' Law, which was formulated to answer the long-simmering debate over whether X is a "Christian band"."To the proportion that your band talks about its Christian faith in public, your band is in the Christian rock scene."Princeps' Law. It's a thing. Pass it on.

  5. Dan says:

    >What is your take on a band like Red, for example, and the song Breathe into Me? I'm into more of the harder rock, though not death metal or anything, and Red appeals to me. Not Disturbed or anything, but better than listening to Amy Grant or some other cheesy Christian artist who thinks that singing like it's 1985 is still ok.

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