>And The Wicked Shall Inherit Your Pets?

Posted: 23/02/2010 in eschatology

>Most folks know that I am no fan of dispensational futurism, including its dogma of the rapture. Part of the reason I reject is the outright strange impasses it creates: such as what unworthy pagan will care for your pets once Jesus takes you away from earth? After all, good Christians care for their pets.

“Why not Us?” says a clever and enterprising atheist. Businesses Week reports that wicked pagan Bret Centre has started a foundation to care for your pets as the world inevitably goes to shit during the tribulation. Futurists are at an uncertain about this, but some are paying the fee.

Yeah, it’s weird.

Personally, I can’t help but have some respect for Bret Centre. I imagine he thought to himself something like this: “if members of their religion capitalize on the rapture, why shouldn’t I?” (LaHaye and Jenkins, after all, aren’t exactly living below the poverty line.) Since he never expects the rapture to come, he will never actually have to provide a service. This is, pretty much, free money. If he ever runs out of atheists to care for his pets, I’d like to volunteer myself, every other preterist, and Catholic and Orthodox Christians, who many dispensationalists believe will be left behind.

Perhaps my cynicism is getting the better of me.

In all seriousness, I wonder if this semi-overt exploitation of hysteria is going to warrant a little bit of self-reflection among those who read things like the rapture index. Futurists (like any group I suppose) can make themselves look very silly. More than once folks have racked up their credit cards or called their kids home from college because they expected the tribulation. There has been a small fortune made in selling things like rapture dog tags. Even groups like the SDA started with irrational growing popularity of an end-times prophet who kept failing in his predictions.

I have no idea how those who believe in the rapture will deal with this impasse regarding their pets. I do think, however, that Bret Centre will make a nice amount of free money.

  1. >Good thing my pets are Christians. *whew* Thank God for those cat and dog baptisms….

  2. Jin-roh says:

    >I imagine it must've been frustrating for the cats.

  3. Stephanie says:

    >You're a cynic. Leave those poor people who believe in the rapture alone. It's funny though, that people try to predict the rapture, because I always understood that no one knew when it was going to happen and that was kind of the point. Also, if I trust the Lord with something as important as the rapture, why wouldn't I trust him with my pets? I seem to remember something about the birds of the field.

  4. Jin-roh says:

    >Cynic? I thought I was holding back, Stephanie.In all seriousness, I oppose dispensationalism because it pales in comparison to the future hope that Christians can actually believe in.

  5. Stephanie says:

    >I can appreciate that. šŸ™‚ And I definitely disagree with the whole "well, the earth is going to hell in a handbasket, but it doesn't matter, because we're all getting out of here anyway," kind of thinking. Honestly, I think the Bible was deliberately vauge on what happens at the end of the world, and very clear as to what we are supposed to do while in the world.

  6. Jaret says:

    >I literally laughed out loud when I read this, and then I cried a little inside when I realized that this wasn't from The Onion.

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