>The Passive Agressive Blog

Posted: 06/05/2009 in LMU, rants

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Once upon a time there were four graduate students who lived together. Three were wise but one was not. Now, I am not saying any names but you might know someone like one of these graduate students. Of course, this blog is just a bunch of silly fun. Totally! I love silly fun at 1:00am on finals week.

Anyway, the wise graduate students came to school to study. They wished to expand on the wisdom they gained throughout undergraduate. They were hard-working, although perhaps overachieving, students. Though the wise students certainly had their faults, they were all respectful to each other. They also understood the priorities that were important at this stage in their life.

One of the grad students was not wise. He behaved foolishly and sought the company of other fools. Now, he’s really not that bad of guy, but wow; did the foolish student ever know how to be inconsiderate. He came to grad school because he wanted to keep living life like it was a van wilder movie.

But I remind the reader that this is just something I am making up nothing I am typing here is based on reality.

The wise students were putting themselves through the academic rigor. For they wished to advance their lives and continue to grow in adulthood. One of the wise students had a major test the next morning. The two other had recently turned in one of the most intimidating papers of their academic career. It was the middle of their last week together, and they knew they needed to sleep.

But lo, the fools came into the apartment. It was after all, Cinco De Mayo. Not that any of these fools -who I am totally making up- where Mexican or that Cinco De Mayo is a holiday that means anything, and the fools began drinking. They had deep conversations about who knew more about trivial matters. Then they drink some more. After they drank, they started talking about the last time they were drinking.

One of the wise students texted the third wise roommate, warning him not to return to the apartment. This same wise student politely told the fools that he would like it if they were quiet, for he and the other wise students had politely endured many late night parties. Now it was the end of the year, and would really like to sleep. Yet an annoying sack-of-garbage foolish girl mocked him in her drunkeness. She declared him too old. Yet it must be known that she looks older than the wise student, who maintains his health by not drinking himself stupid every fucking night.

Alas, the wise student did not even know her name or what the fuck her businesses was in this apartment, in which she didn’t really belong in. A second of the wise student was busy cleaning dishes and packing up the kitchen. Yet none of fools took the subtle hint that maybe this wasn’t the best place to party. The two wise students realized that many of these fools were undergraduates. Yet even other undergraduates they knew were wiser than these.

Or at least that is what might’ve happened if I wasn’t making this story up. I mean, nothing like this could ever happen.

The two wise students eventually left the apartment for a short time. For they needed to console eachother with wisdom and banana milkshakes. The wise students consoled eachother with the knowledge that they would live in different apartments next year. They further spoke of how they wanted to think the best of the foolish roommate, but were finding it increasingly hard to do so. One wise student said to the other “this will all be in my webcomic” but of course he did not mean the Uberbean, as I am totally making all this up.

This student texted many friends. He also carefully caressed and polished his set of Cutco knives and noted that the handles are specifically designed not to absorb blood.

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Comments
  1. Andrew says:

    >”She declared him too old. Yet it must be known that she looks older than the wise student, who maintains his health by not drinking himself stupid every fucking night.”lol-andrew

  2. Q says:

    >That was the best fiction story ever. How do you come up with these ingenious stories that have no bearing in reality and no relation to any actual persons?

  3. Adam Goyer says:

    >This is the most passive aggressive thing I’ve ever seen you write.www.origen-genesis.com

  4. Dane says:

    >I enjoy the fact that I’m a state away, I still get to enjoy the madness. Always remember, even on the worst day, it ain’t motown.

  5. Gobble Gobble! says:

    Mooo!

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